CHRISTMAS CHEATS

I looked into the mirror, astonished and with mirth,
I'd worked so hard to lose it, that flab around my girth.
I've been counting calories, in salads, fruit and fish,
I even found I did  enjoy each slim weight watcher dish.

I threw out all the fat clothes, to bring some slim ones in,
And then approaching Christmas, I promised not to sin.
I bought a brand new wardrobe to thank me for my loss,
And felt a million dollars, but now I just feel cross.

I'm feeling fat and guilty, from far to much to eat,
I ate so much this Christmas and even then did cheat,
It is my right to eat I thought, and then I wasn't trying.
Five pounds on the bathroom scales, and now I feel like crying,

Hampers full of Christmas dreams!  How could I say no?
An extra pound this holiday, would surely quickly go.
We ate cake and we drank wine, we gobbled up the turkey,
I felt that I should be like them but now I'm not so perky.

I had no Christmas pudding!  I couldn't find the room,
But I ate nuts and chocolate, the reason for this gloom.
I gorged myself on trifles, was driven, would not walk,
Where is this lady's willpower? Stealing cracklin from the pork!

My skirts are getting tighter, squeezing at my tum,
Soon I won't get through the door, I'll leave behind my bum,
I really must behave myself, and eat one thousand calories.
The way I ate this Christmas, I soon shall need two salaries!

                 Copyright January 2004
                  Carole A.M. Johnson